Hm, turns out you can send SMS from payphones. Dunno how long that has been available – I haven’t used a payphone since high school. And I learnt this when someone put in the wrong number and sent me this today (I’ll spare you the allcaps):
(SMS from TELSTRA payphone)hey tamahau this is teecy and i was just wondering if u would go out with me umm anyways ill see u at skool tomorrow see ya
Right.
“PHP: Web programming for programmers; ColdFusion: “Programming” for web /designers/.” –Mike
Hmm. Am I correct in saying the net has some people who are convinced that the best way to demonstrate how “1337” they are with code is to make things as difficult for themselves as possible? I mean, what else am I meant to draw from the above SMS? Let’s say that you can achieve exactly the same results in PHP as in CF (and that’s virtually true, give or take a few things) then why is CF, “programming” (in inverted commas) and why is PHP “real” programming? Does it make a difference? I don’t think so. What do you think?
“i-o worldwide internet radio show session #1 has been released, come check it out if you’d like : http://www.intermittent.org/” –ciphon
Giving myself a break from tomorrow onwards posting SMSes (unless they are something special).
“Have fun working on your computer shit while I have fun with my heuristics….” –Fallen Angel (the IT guy and the psych guy…)
“Irish is out to kill my children. I will defend my kin with a large, frozen trout! ENGAURDE!!!” –Squirrel Boy
“I’m not a mother fucking leprachaun. I am going to go murder Squirrels. Hold my pot of gold, Inferno.” –Irish (you’re a worry)
“school sucks” –Dav@School
“Holy shit… I finally got a T1 here at school. Man, my 56K is gonna suck when I get home again” –Tom
“wow what happened to http://morsetka.nathanism.com ?…who would do such a thing?! :::snicker:::” –SiC
“Damnitttt the family dog is trying to eat my head again! Arrrgh!” –Grilled Cheese Man
“sung, you’re korean…what’s “la” mean? I mean, you should know and everything….what’s ‘la’ mean?” –GStarr
“glad to see you back online! Missed you!” –nettie
“Yes, www.pageofmisc.com is finally back up, and for a limited time only – you can watch me peel the carrot there. =)” –Grilled Cheese Man
“i came here with my d*** in my hand, don’t make me leave here with my foot in your ass.” –kalebsan
“*sends the rain clouds your way* I sick of dark skys…i as pale as a ghost… :)” –nettie
“AHHAAHAHA BIG ‘Surrkit’ gos to the knights tonight.. go you rouseters!!!” –Matto (whoops a bit late in posting this one)
“My mommy said to never to go to the deep end of the sandbox. The leprachaun lives over there. He tell me to burn things.” –Squirrel Boy
“they call me “jack off” and then they want something from me. are people THAT dumb?” –solo
“I DON’T FRICKING KNOW WHAT “LA” MEANS. KTHX.” –sung
“Answer some questions, stop day-dreaming!!” –Kev (smartass sent me it in the BDN tute when I was nodding off…)
“Hey man, Check out this aussie + alternative mp3 search engine: http://www.ozmp3ring.com/” –PSupreme
“Woohoo. This has been a friendly reminder from the bored as hell department. Thank you and have a nice day.” –Dav
“tell that jack off solo to get his ass moving :p=, then the abode will be back up, I miss it. thank ya kindly” –Amy
“GRiM*ÇE, feel free to suck my dick. Inferno, you’re a dirty Aussie. Move out of that prison!” –Theseus
“you’re in a skit at ttl…you’re gonna kill ppl ;]” –SiC (the skit he refers to can be found via That Thin Line)
“if I ever cry and whine about not getting a red dot please punch me in the face” –GRiM*ÇE
“Red dot red dot red red dot.” –Theseus
“ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?” –solo (eh? Get your page back up dammit…)
“Msg to FA b/c don’t know his email: hey man when are you going to get the abode back up and running again?” –Dav
“do what I did, babe. find another hit counter. :)” –GStarr (But I like Extreme-dm…)
“You know, if a cow had a chance, it would kill you AND your family..” –Matto
“where can i buy sea monkees? – love your insomiac PA chic” –nettie
“What the hell are sunnies????” –Fallen Angel (sunglasses, of course)
“I’ve been up for 48 hours straight. Eating Grilled Cheese sandwiches and watching MTV2 will do that to you.” –Grilled Cheese Man
“I think I just… yep, I just farted.” –sLim
“i am writting to say hi from my unlce’s house :) far away from my home, i’ll be home in a few days :) byes” –nettie
“I think the ce/nsus results need to show how many chicken products each person consumes. Am I right? :)” –Najical
“but wait – the dot is there – but it’s the wrong colour STU … HEY STU…. the dot isn’t red STU? www.billyjoebob.web.com” –billyjoebob
“6 Icehouse bottles + 2 Advil = Thin blood and a large buzz…physics for alcoholics….” -killers_r_quiet
“Baefed.com is back in action….bitches.” –entdiablo
“Schoolyard memories and handball nostalgia turned essay :)” –GStarr
“Don’t these SMSes ever get annoying? And why isn’t the window for this SMS form wider? At least let me resize it….” –Adam
“if the pillsbury doughboy had a yeast infection, how would you know? http://cyclo.uptohere.net” –kalebsan
“Heh, they moved back too, stupid people.” –Alex (need I say? He’s talking about the IRC channel)
“gonaherpasyphilaids? huh? desensitized.com” –mors
“Frolicking Ferrets, Batman! It’s raining hard and lightning just struck my rod!” –Grilled Cheese Man
“my cat’s breath smells like cat food….also….I think I broke my wookie….” –killers_r_quiet
“i so bored, are you? waiting for solo to get the pages up agained…thought of my moment “radio active monkee suits”, bye cutie” -nettie
“YAY! I won! Ha ha, eat me, SilverWeed. :)” –Alex
“wow – two new posters and a 3d logo – that MUST count as an update….. www.billyjoebob.web.com” –billyjoebob
“I too have often wondered about the bottles on the front lawn and where the hell they went. No-one seems to know” –Nick 4wood
“you know grilled cheese man, eh? well i eat grilled cheese. conform christian, conform!!!” –Hebrew Willy
“I’m watching you from inside this video camera disguised as a phone, just wanted to let you know.” –SilverWeed
“Hey stu, can you put a message on hearye about how e/nirc is moving to irc.m00.net? The current channel has been taken over, thx.” –SilverWeed (E/n on IRC is ridiculous. It’s like an itinerant worker… moving every second month.)
“If I made SEX PROJECT T-shirts would anyone buy them? I know I would.” –Guruchild
“Okay because of yewk0n ill be posting on list-en and here as silverweed now, damn you yewk0n.” –Alex
“Again, good luck to your mom man. I hope it all goes well.” –Theseus
“Watch out for that guy sitting next to you. He is gay and is attracted to you!” –My Little Porno Pony (Could’ve been funnier if I didn’t receive this sms at midnight :)
“u been busy stu………or have u just had some of that high grade herion that going around” –Burga
“Quick Note: Do not dress up as Chucky Cheese and leave flaming bags of dog excrement on my doorstep. Much obliged.” –Grilled Cheese Man
“I just want to see my name here :) Woo!” –Najical
“He is! I swear. And.. who started the Racism thread? Ooh, I *think* it was me! Hah!” –Alex
“Yo quiero amor tu anchovies a la playa. – Translation: I want to love your anchovies at the beach.” –Grilled Cheese Man
“STFU Val :D” –Alex
“Have you ever taken a red dot away from someone?” –David (Yes.)
“Sung is Alex’s mommy?” –GStarr
“how much suffering must i endure before simpleminded.org gets a red dot… oh the agony” –Theseus
“That WinME review guy needs his lips pried from Microsoft’s ass with a crowbar!!” –Bonhomme de Neige
“Look behind you!” –Matto (sent when I was standing in the quad building, back to a wall :)
“Do or do not. There is no Try..!! yes hehe !” –Matto
“When I say GRILLED…you say CHEESE! Let’s get this party started right!” –Grilled Cheese Man
“my site is back, sooo do your thing sexay. www.sungs.net” –Sung
“does a new logo and some new colours count as a redesign? www.billyjoebob.web.com” –billyjoebob (not really, but you just plugged it anyhow)
“my icq is fine…not shat at all ;)” –GStarr
“don’t listen to Alex” –Val
“if i have a pajama party, would you like to come :) bring a sleeping bag and pillows! night err morning 236am….what is sleep?” –nettie
“Do NOT go to LA or NY, those are the worst place in this country.” –Alex
“no stupid I meant Diablo II for free ;)” –GStarr (well… the problem is obtaining a CDKey :)
“(aAhhhh…Diablo 2 taking over life nd harddrive space)” –stuart
“reddot reddot REDdot redDOT REDDOT bacon” –billyjoebob
“yo, b, we should play Diablo2 my man! :-D” –Double Neg
“sung is my mommy.” –Alex
“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Damn you diablo, damn you right to hell.” –Alex
“Irish stop sending the love notes and I’ll stop sending the death threats” –GStarr
“where can I get diablo II? :(” –GStarr (from a computer games store perhaps? :)
“don’t you miss me at all?~!?” –sung
“I just wanted to tell you Hello :) Nettie is bored. See you later.. watch out for falling cows (dont ask)” –Nettie
“That biiatch GStarr BEGGED me to make her a new layout. SHE BEGGED. She even offered me sex. Sucka Ho!” –Irish (Irish wake up… you’re dreaming again)
“Btw.. if you don’t watch out GStarr, you’re going to get pimped by the Irishpimps Inc. – Http://irish.uptohere.net/ <3″ –Irish
“You got d2? Go stu.. go stu, it’s your birthday its your birthday. We need to get everyone to get it, and to make our own server” –Alex
“No need to marry her, Darva Conger is nude in this month’s Playboy! $5 Million? No, just $5!” –Tom
“whoa there ole buddy….you’re giving ME the palm…remember our agreement? Keeping Irish off SMS for a palm? huh huh?” –GStarr
“I’ve played Diablo 2 for a week now and have to say, it rocks =) And Icewind Dale also rocks” –Stuart (Diablo 2 arrives tomorrow!! Icewind Dale is still not here though.)
“it’s crunchy it’s salty – it’s BACON yum yum bacon fat makes my anus twitch….” –billyjoebob
“Boo!” –Fallen Angel
“this is the SMALL machine that goes “ping” – EAT MORE BACON” –billyjoebob
“Uhhhh. Hey. Heh, heh.” –blare
“Go Stu’s mom! And i’ll drink to that.” –Irish
“hi, ijust wanted to let you know that my prayers were with you rmom and i am glad things are ok *large hugs*” –nettie
“GIVE STU BACK HIS MOBILE YA BLOODY WANKER!” –Kyle
“[1:21] <Inferno|study> just stuff w/o vocals (cont next sms)” –Alex
“Try Astral Projection, it’s really good. No vocals, my favorites are trance dance and radial blur” –Alex (tip taken… good stuff, Astral Projection)
“send your mom love and hugs from all your internet stranger friends…” –GStarr
“I’m looking through your javascript source… nice work” –eod
“Confidence builder: a woman I work with is nearly 70, she survived breast cancer. Good luck! Funny, later..” –Tom
(Ones coming in now are being diverted to e-mail due to the absence of a phone)
“BAMF is a monopoly on e/n! I say we split them up into 2; one part content, one part news! REVOLT!!!!!!!” –Surebrec (how about badass.com, and mofo.com?)
“they have been showing titan AE previews for over a year here :(” –Solo
“About the movies: ASF solved that problem years ago :>” –Alecks (nothing compares to seeing something on the big screen tho! I won’t even mention the fact that by the time I’m finished downloading an asf, that the movie probably has come out on video by then)
“I think it’s fly when girls drop down and give hummers. Toal w00tablility.” –Irish
FUCK YOU CITYRAIL!!!
“Hey there sexy baby!!!” –FA
“Sorry about your Mommy. Best wishes.” –Alex
Two words: Fuck Cityrail.
Hey we’re moving… oh… no we’re not. We start the day early with a “points failure”. Been stopped in the middle of nowhere for the last 25 minutes.
Last day of May. Free rail day (what a joke), end of Autumn, last day of free SMSes from Optus, and my Birthday ;)
“That deaf dumb and blind kid, sure plays a mean pinball.” –David
“Nothing in the Weekly World News is real man, it’s a humor magazine, much like the onion. Just thoughtI’d tell ya.” –KPC (I figured that :)
Ok this is beginning to grate. Hereafter, I’m going to start being selective about what SMSes I post. It’s just too time consuming.
“How is Melissa Joan Heart so low? Fucking hell shes hot.” –SilverWeed
“btw, http://er33t.co.uk will be up tomorrow at lunchtime (european time.)” –SilverWeed
About 12 SMSes from Irish
“0 Hierarchial Menu Trees? Is something wrong here?” –Tom
“I have an Apple IIGS in my study. Man, what a POS. all of its 2000 k harddrive! Which is really a RAM chip and battery backup.” –Tom
“hey babe where are ya???? just seeing what the hell this is and if it is working or not” -Joelene
“I see you are online.. I am watching you stu.” –SilverWeed
“It is a sad, sad day to see Ramblings on fissure.org. Sigh.” –Venus (it is a temporary housing. RegBarc is a tramp seeking shelter for a few nights before he travels on :)
“I wanted to play Arkanoid on my IIGS. So I set it up, plug it in, hit the switch, poof! The CPU blew! Man, it stinks too” –Tom
“Fuck it, I hate my life.” –Surebrec
“i can send sms from my computer man” –Andy Gibbs
“Is there ANY hope left for our society, or are we just going to sell out in every way we can till we die?” –Spaz
“mm just trying this out. nifty :]” –burgatron
“The Bunker says hello – more later!! Stay tuned” –Renai
“I hate Microsoft. I hate IE. MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!” –Surebrec
“Hosting ramblings? Stu cant do wrong. If you kill Stile you will be annointed a saint.” –SilverWeed
“Heidi Klum or Rebecca Romjin? Ok Heidi, man, tough!” –Tom
“when it gets really hot in Los Angeles, my testicles get sweaty and stick to my legs.” -red scare
“Boy I’m sure glad I don’t travel by train, especially in Sydney!” –HJ
“Solos Chick challenge: Katie Holmes, Shannon Elizabeth, all overrated. Heidi Klum won mine… what? 20TH? Ahh! Must be horny 12” –Tom (continued…)
“year olds since Britney Spears is ninth… ahh! What is this world coming to?” –Tom “Gowings (in the city) now sell Penguin Mints ($9.95/can)” –Shaun (Shit. 10 bucks?! I bought them in for roughly AU $5 per tin including delivery! And that’s not even in bulk! Bloody hell… Gowings is robbing people blind… 100+% markup…)
Time spent on public transport today: 200 minutes.
Add – Time spent waiting for it to arrive: 80 minutes.
Equals: A not very funny joke.
Hey, the trains are running over an hour late tonight. Got to Central at 9.15. Still here.
The train timetables have changed cos the airport line opened. Train times are all messed up now – there’s no order to it. Every train stops at diff stops.
“i got killed off the server, already.” –sung (you don’t wanna know what this was about…)
“Why isnt my name in bold anymore?” –Tom (nothing personal. Sometimes I miss a name on accident)
“I think Fissure is the only one not on the millenium bandwagon… wait, nevermind..” –Tom (?)
“Bad news Stu, According to PC Gamer, Team Fortress 2 is now slated to come out in 2001. :(” –RegBarc (what?! And to think it was meant to come out real soon after Half-life as a mod…)
“BoooOOooo!” –Speedy
“I have nothing good to say.” –Spaz
“Re: The Revolution Spins Around Again – I have to agree. That post just hits the spot. Inferno, you rule.” –Spaz
“thanks for the birthday greeting. I must be really cool because I have seven windows open…” –G Starr
“Yo, Stu, thanks for posting Scorch! I can’t believe you found that! I’ve been looking all over for it! PIMP! (StreetRod is better)” –Mr.Rebelo
“Does anyone understand Japanese, I would LOVE to know whats going on here: http://www.planetnamek.com/humor/juicead.mov” –Tom
“Yeah! Team E/N has officially passed 1 year of processing time! And you have about 80% of it! Haha.” –Justin
“what??! you never told ME happy birthday” –G Starr (oops… now I’m in trouble… Happy belated birthday to you too)
“I hate AOL!!! Damn chain letters! I feel like I’m in 6th grade!” –Tom
“Yeah! Team E/N has officially passed 1 year of processing time! And you have about 80% of it! Haha.” –Justin (Have you joined up yet? Join Now! Keep your Seti client running as “always running”. It will run at low priority meaning it will step aside if any other program needs cpu time. In other words, you won’t drop frames when you fire up Quake.)
“My dad has a mug that his dad gave to him (when he was 8) that says “Talk is cheap.. Until you hire a lawyer.” My dads now a lawye” –Russ
“I think this is a typo: $4.95 a month for a T1 connection… some gimmick, gotta be.” -Tom
“mmmmm…. broadband…. makes me feel all warm and gushy inside. You’ll understand… someday =)” –Solo (bastard! stop taunting me! Just because you have access to OC-3 doesn’t mean you can torment the peasants :)
“we should have a tetrinet clan.” –sung (yes… tetrinet… legendary games… really wasted my time in year 12. Really, someone should open up an e/n clan/gaming centre heh)
“unf?” –gimp
“my dad even makes fun of sung.” –opp
“It’s my birthday today – my 21st… damn, where’d I leave my walking frame. XD” –Phil (cheers and Happy -Belated- Birthday Phil!!)
“How has the human race survived this long with the average intelligence level so low??” –Venus (look at it this way – there are stupider races on this planet and they survive…)
“Hey Inferno, try Venturecapitalists.com =] (leave it to the business student to point that out, haha)” –Venus (sound advice :)
“dope wars 2.0 beta is out!” –Wabut (anyone have a copy of it?)
Question: Where exactly do startup companies get their venture capital from?? (And so much of it?)
“We’ve got a couple of Cisco Aironet Wireless PCMCIA cards and Host stations around the office…they’re pretty neat…..and really easy to set up too…..and they look pretty cool as well…i fully recommend them” –Shaf
“A diablo2 clan, yes. And definately a TF2 one. (Note to self: kick irish in balls.)” –Silverweed
“sung sucks eh?” –sung (if you say so, mate)
“I want an airport for MY pc…” –GStarr
“what is irish’s gender? usually I think female, then male, then…nope…definitely female” –GStarr
“Irish: 1×1 SOF Death Match…..[and it’s through, not threw…]….oh..& bitch!” –entdiablo
“I was strolling through the park one day. In the merry merry month of May, when I was taken by surprise, by a pair of German thighs, so I fucked her all today!” –Tom (uh…)
“Hear Ye is like the Times Square of E/N” –Spaz
“Don’t worry baby… ::strokes thigh:: no one will blame you with me here… ::puts arm around Inferno’s back::” –RegBarc (*shudder*)
“Yo, sfingaz from Big Hairy Balls here. Just wondering dude, how did you implement that SMS gateway?” –Cameron (Since you’re Aussie, go here -> SMSMeBaby and get your mobile an e-mail address)
“entdiablo: 1×1 half-life deathmatch. bitch.” –Irish (I’d like to see that. I mean, I’d really like to see that.)
“James: What is up with Ramblings, man?! I’m going threw withdrawl from lack of posting! E-mail me, man.” –Irish (Hey! This is not a message relaying service.)
“Stu, list-en kicks ass.” –SilverWeed
“notes on niterider – buy a car stu – ya skumbag – an drive down tha shops an buy me some bacon” –billyjoebob
“who is this? im on to you….” –minus
“GayRegBarc? wtf?” –RegBarc112 (*shrug* don’t look at me)
“Why DID the chicken cross the road? Cuz there was a KFC and he was hungry! HAHAHAH!” –Surebrec
“For Irish: Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand…..think about it.” –entdiablo
“2 PM and all is well. 3 PM and all is well. 4 PM… Ahh! Huns! RUN! AHHHHHH!” –Tom (couldn’t help but smile at this one :)
“YOU NO POST MY SMS? YOU AND BARCEY ARE BED BUDDIES.” –GayRegBarc (wha?)
“everyone has to send me love notes on Tuesday–my birthday (picasso@huntel.net)” –GStarr
“Conform with us damn you.” –Spaz
Being alone in Campbelltown at 3.30am is an experience I can do without for a very, very long time.
First time on a Nightride bus. Gonna be a long trip back to Campbelltown. As to how I’m gonna get to Camden? No idea. But that’s part of the fun :)
“Hey theseus, #E/N #E/N #E/N #E/N #E/N #E/N, btw, i know you love the strugglers mail flame :P” –Alecks
“Would anyone believe Stile if he faked his death by heart attack? From having sex with a woman?” –KPC
“if your torn between suicide and homicide, just go on a killing spree until the pigs kill your ass. then, you become the victim.” –red scare
“can you beleive it? for the first time in human history – there is NO-ONE in my icq contact list online – i have 283 contacts ffs!” –billyjoebob
“Shakespears World has been facelifted please let you readers know” –Shakespear
“5/5 is my birthday. If its a doomsday then Ill get the greatest present ever.” –Jonez
“You’re lookin’ good in the Daily Tele! Cor blimey, you could make a man turn. =D” –Phil (don’t get any ideas, mate :)
“Aww, c’mon Stu. If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine. :)” –Dennis
“hey looks like stileproject is down – have you heard anything?? how am i supposed to get thru the day w/out scat pr0n?? ….. bacon” –billybaconbob
“¿Yo quireo blowjob? Stile can go blow a goat. Slipknot rules. If you think differently, screw you :(.” –Surebrec
“Where do you get all that He said/She said stuff? It’s utter crap.” –Bonhomme de Neige (interesting to see some people haven’t worked out the Soapbox yet)
“Nostradomus meant May 5th CENTRAL time of course? Why would he base his apocalyptic prediction on any other timezone?” –sonic junkie (hm was America colonised at the time that guy was around? Don’t think so…)
“You stayed up all night to babysit the computers? I bet you had fun on New Year’s Eve r.e. Y2K. :D” –Phil (no 5/5/2000 is not a computer malfunction date – it’s a universe malfunction date, or it was meant to be :) heh and I was overseas on Y2K far away from any computer :)
“OK,Ok, I admit it, I made about half the wazzaap pics you see, some of the Alien ones too. Ok, Elian the Alien, what next. Well..” –Tom
“FUCK! I opened the Iloveyou virus… I feel like your dad after fucking your mom without a condom on, entdiablo. :o(” –Irish
“But, ofcourse I was at work wasting my break on their comuter and shit, so I don’t really give two fucks anyway. Hah!” –Irish
“Whooo areee youuu? Who? Who? Who? Who? Tell me! Tell me! Who r u?” –Irish
“Creating Hierarchical Menus 1_5/4… PLEASE wait while your computer freezes…” –Tom
“I like cookies…” –Scratch
It’s bizarre when people sitting around me on the train are reading the Daily Tele. Like right now.
“Maybe I shouldnt have made that promise… Ive popped 10 niggas already and it is only 5 mins…” –Tom
“BTW, what are the “x,” and the “aussie flag” picture next to the links on the left for?” –Irish (uh… it should be fairly evident)
“I’m so white that if you saw me in the dark, you’d ‘prolly mistake me for a ghost. :'(” –Irish
“this census sucks…there are too many unnessecary questions” –G Starr (see today’s census post for a reply)
“nice site.. gee i wonder how many msgs you get like this a day..” –DRACO
“mmmmmmmmmmmm………chicken…..mmmmmmmm” –Spaz
“Do you post all of these SMS you get? And wtf does SMS stand for?” -SaltyBalz (SMS = Short Message Services. And I only post on this site the SMSes I get through the site.)
What is this? Give-Inferno-a-big-head-day? (Not that I’m complaining :)
“Down with chris herring!” –SilverWeed
“.and up with Stu, cause he kicks ass.” –SilverWeed
“*Adam Sandler voice* Hear Ye! blows my fuckin’ mind, mein!” –Irish
“Hear Ye is the greatest e/n site out there. That’s my final answer.” –Spaz
“Irish….my mother may have screwed an Irish potato, but never the likes of you….” –entdiablo
“Is the “Croc Hunter” real or a croc of shit?!” –entdiablo (huh?)
“Not only was there Canadian flags, but also horseshit on the stairs … whats going on here?” –Noddy (damn Canucks…)
“Soccer is a derivitive from England of the words Association Football (the governing body of Brit soccer)” –Noddy
“I watched this nature show where the kangaroos had these long, long erections. Kinda hypnotic if you saw it yourself.” –RegBarc112 (only if you look at sheep in the same way…)
“The next person to say “wazzaap” to me is going to get a cap in their ass. That, my friend, is a promise!” –Tom
Haha… Renai’s not happy about me linking that pic :) The things that happen when you’re drunk, eh? Shaf apparently was showing the pic around the office!
“Inferno, do you like cheese? If so, what kind of cheese? And I’m still confused by your use of the word ‘unmaimed’ or whatever.” –Spaz
“Every time I take a shit, I sneeze. Does this mean I am allergic to shitting?” –da5id
“hahaha….I thought you said biological twitching. btw….I’m tired of that kind of riddle.” –G Starr
“I could get a good look at a T-bone steak if I stuck my head up a bulls ass, wouldn’t you rather take the butchers word for it?” –Irish
“ent diablo: I had sex with your mother 9 months before you were born. ‘Nuff said. I <3 Stu” –Irish
“I take pride in sueing wired-abuse, maybe i shouldn’t sue them for what i am sueing them for, but i am gay. Crack is a fool.” –Stile (is it really?)
“I’m downloading the On The Prowl 95mb version. And yes, I’m on dial-up. Uhg.” –RegBarc112 (I feel your pain, bro)
“If football is called soccer in the States, then what’s soccer mean?” –KPC (don’t ask me, we call it soccer too. The Poms call it football. Football here is rugby.)
“well I think it’d make a lot of sense to take away all the xerox machines in the world because of all the plagarism and priacy….” -G Starr
“I love you man!” -Surebrec (this is getting worrying. Let’s hope it’s all Platonic.)
“Wow, I shouldnt have eaten so much chili. BRB, I need a fan…” –Tom
“Nice piece of eristic news for ya at www.smh.com.au – Heads you lose: jury tosses coin” –Bonhomme De Neige (that is scary… “only in America”)
“*hug* :)” –G Starr (one person for HAA Day! :)
“how fucking long is your haul to work everyday? sheesh” –Solo (I told you it was 2 hours each way!)
[27/3/2000 01:40:03] –== Inferno’s Whereabouts over the next 24-Hours ==–
[27/3/2000 01:50:04] Home (And going to bed)
[27/3/2000 07:05:05] Leaving Home
[27/3/2000 07:35:10] Campbelltown Station
[27/3/2000 07:45:11] Leumeah Station
[27/3/2000 08:10:05] Panania Station
[27/3/2000 08:50:05] North Sydney
[27/3/2000 08:55:10] At the Salt Mines
[27/3/2000 12:55:06] Lunch
[27/3/2000 17:35:03] Leaving Work
[27/3/2000 17:45:04] North Sydney Station
[27/3/2000 17:55:02] Town Hall Station
[27/3/2000 18:05:03] Town Hall Steps
[27/3/2000 18:15:03] Why are there Canadian flags flying at Town Hall?
[27/3/2000 18:45:04] Chinatown
[27/3/2000 18:50:02] Dinner
[27/3/2000 21:20:04] Town Hall Station
[27/3/2000 21:35:04] Central Station
[27/3/2000 22:00:05] East Hills Station
[27/3/2000 22:20:05] Campbelltown Station
[27/3/2000 22:45:03] Home
[26/3/2000 11:52:27] If you are reading this, it means posting to Hear Ye! with my mobile phone has been successful! Cool.
[26/3/2000 12:04:04] I can just tell that this is going to keep me entertained the whole day…
[26/3/2000 12:06:02] Crontab test.
[26/3/2000 12:11:01] I wish I had this working this morning when Cityrail kept me waiting 30 minutes to buy a damn train ticket.
[26/3/2000 12:25:08] Connectivity, baby.
[26/3/2000 16:00:08] Only one more hour till I knock off from work :)
[26/3/2000 22:20:02] Experimental idea for tomorrow: post my location as I move from home to the city. I’m still in the city… gonna be dead tired tomorrow :/
“Something’s wrong with the soapbox *twitch*” –Spaz
“Narf, efnet #e/n. Irish sucks.” –SilverWeed
“What the hell does ‘unmaimed’ mean?? I looked it up at dictionary.com but it wasn’t listed. I’m so confused.” –Spaz (uh… it’s a fabricated word stemming from “maim”)
“The easter bunny is after me! Save yourself!” –Surebrec
“Is Foster’s REALLY Australlian for beer?” –KPC (Of course. If you came to Australia and asked for Foster’s, you’d get beer.)
“i don’t see a big difference in weblogs and e/n sites… just a difference in the people that do them.” –sonic junkie
“Is “Irish” really Irish? That would explain alot…” –ent diablo (actually, that is a very good point…)
“These aren’t houses you’re buying! These are stocks, they go down!” –SilverWeed
“cut my life into pieces. this is my last resort.” –russ
“Why doesn’t the stupid Trick’s Rabbit just steal the Tricks from the small, inferior children? He’s huge compared to them!” –Chibi Knt
“I farted and it smelled like ranch salad dressing. Weird, eh?” –Irish (you again.)
“Why the hell would Guess file a lawsuit against Wired-Abuse?? I loved that site. Damn the man and his lawsuits!” –Spaz
“shave my llama you crispy salty bacon rasher – you know it’s true stu – why do you persist in denying it?” –billyjoebob (uh. right.)
“I posted porno… that is why baefed.com was suspended… Is that so wrong???” –da5id (only if it violates your TOS)
“If 2 wrongs don’t make a right, how the hell do you get one?” –KPC
“Jesus loves you Inferno.” –Spaz
“Quick, drink the evidence and hide the dick behind your head!” –Edge
“Don’t shoot, I’m a human!” – Resident Evil 2 Intro quote” –David
People, people… SMS spam is no different from E-Mail spam!!! Stop forwarding them on. Haven’t you wondered why it’s weird that they only started appearing after Optus made SMSes free? What’s the bet they’ll disappear once the free SMS offer is over? Geez…
“great page, man. Keep up the great work. — http://koalamonkey.cjb.net” –Jimmi Love
“dont get obsessed with the value of your stock portfolio.” –SilverWeed
“Bah, menus = long load time on cable =( Lots of US companies have been doing the pricematch thing for awhile… 155% =)” –Golar (the menus don’t tax your bandwidth, they seem to be cpu intensive, strangely enough)
“Wow, you can get messages on your cel? Thats awesome!” –John
“Hey, why dont you just stop calling me, asshole.” –SilverWeed
“I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was releived when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.” –da5id
“I think Mr. DeGusta is gay.” –wabut
“boo” –Ian
“If you choose to accept this message, your cell phone will self-destruct into little spiders that will crawl into your ears and an” –da5id
“Lollie pops own”, “Up with cheese!”, “Irish 0wnz” –spaz
“So how’s the tuna? I hear they’z in season this time of year! Bow. Now. How. Brown cow. More to come. — CUT TRANMISSION!!!” –spaz
“CUT THE TRANSMISSION DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU, I SAID <i><b>DAMN YOU</i></b>!!!! Damn you. — CUT TRANSMISSION BABY (oh yea)” –spaz
“Yay! Inferno is back, stu post my sms’s dammit!” –SilverWeed
“Nigga nigga get a table dance! (stern rules!)” –Tom
“Dear John: I have a dead alien, what should I do?” One word: Barbucue. –RegBarc112
“3 Hierarchical Menu Trees totally suck!” –Shakespear
“sms.. apparently?” –name
“`;]” –nikon
“I don’t see what’s so great about Aherdofturtles. He’s just gay… Wait!” –Chibi Knt
“there is a guy outside putting rocks on my mailbox. He has been working hard all day and I think he deserves some cookies. :)” –gstarr
“don’t be lazy! inferno! inferno! where are you! don’t give up! if you beleive in fairies, clap your hands!!” –gstarr
“I got five on it.” –DJ
“Well, I don’t see what’s the big deal with Mahir. He’s just gay.” –Aherdofturtles
“Don’t you love me anymore?” –NOT IRISH
“What does SMS mean? Single Male Services?!?!?!? I hope so.” –SaltyBalz.net (crap, that might explain Irish)
“Okay, Neo…look behind you. Those two men are Agents. Now, what I want you to do is….wait a minute. Oops. Wrong number. Sorry.” –KK (hahaha! This has got to be one of the most original SMSes I’ve got.)
“Nothing get’s me hotter then a come hither loogie!” –Reb Optik
“ONE MORE PERSON SAYS “STILE IS E/N”, I’M GONNA SHOOT THEM.” –RegBarc112 (I concur)
“I’ll give your punk aussie ass a SMS. ….. that was it. *sigh*” –Jonez
“Hol’ de do fo de bro wit da fro at da licker sto” –entdiablo
“Umm…. mouse odometer? I’m not gonna even ask why someone would use it =)” –Golar
“Irish sucks! <3 Jason” –Jason
“You didn’t post my sms; did I trick you or are you ignoring me?” –SilverWeed (what sms?)
“You DO realize that I’ll send you the series finale of DS9 on tape with express mail” –RegBarc112 (yes, please! :)
I’m not posting Irish’s SMSes anymore. Not when you can see them on Ramblings.
“How much are you willing to pay for sex? My prices are 15 dollars/hour on weekdays and 20 dollars/hour on sat/sun. Open 24-7” –SaltyBalz
“Haha, you and your little southern hemisphere friends are getting DS9 episodes now that were shown in the States 3 years ago.” –RegBarc (shut up and stop tormenting me. :)
“Hey Stu, how did you get SMS on the net?? Is there some file or something?” –Aherdofturtles (It’s magic. Ok, so it isn’t. Well, my phone is hooked up with an e-mail account which routes smses to me.)
My mobile is still acting as a conduit for a flame war.
“Riddle me this, riddle me that… How the fuck do I skin a cat??” –Da5id
“E-Z SON, gg, $$” –Shakespear
“PALM SUCKS! PALM SUCKS! PALM SUCKS! PALM SUCKS!” –Silverweed
“Sex. Tba. Mother, any questions? Btw, ramblings.net m0f0!” –Silverweed
“ahh so I had my 3 secs of fame on ur site by sending u my 1st msg eh? *grinz* Have a good one! :)” –Velle
“i just broke $9,000,000 in dopewars – hoe much bacon can you buy for $9,000,000?” –billyjoebob
“I GOT MAD HOES YO! Check out Ramblings.net, womens wanna do it wid me!” –Irish
“Army of Hatred 0wnz. Down with Canada. Death to Stile. Up with communism! Up with the metric system! We love Irish.” –Spaz
“wtf? r u ok stu?” –billyjoebob
“Post the SMS’s damnit!!!! (Irish suX0rz)” –Spaz
“Inferno is dead! Someone else is taking over posting for him, its true!” –Spaz (I can neither confirm nor deny that statement)
“Shakespear: Your site sucks assvomit. Get a new fucking layout you pansy. Oh Inferno, I was whacking and my dick started to bleed.” –Irish
“Palm SUCKS, and why arent you on the BAMF irc server? oh, and i already sexed tba’s mother good, sorry :(” –SilverWeed (darest thou insult the Palm?! heresy!)
“bacon” -billyjoebob (someone has a fixation with frying pigs)
“what’s that website again? its like ub/ss/girl or something. you said I could win something shiny by going to it. :)” –GStarr (It’s /usr/bin/girl – I’m not sure what happened to the contest)
“whee! I got 361,575 on dopewars…(it WAS luck, darnit)” –GStarr
“Roger, reading u 5 by 5, pupa zulu alpha 632, SIR” –WaD
“stumbled upon ur page fr a link.. good one there :)” –Velle (wow, a new name!)
“The answer to the riddle is: “I like to bang indians.” “Take you to my house, on the couch, ya. Knock your pussy out, ya!” *rambli” –Irish (haha! message truncated before he could get the plug in!!)To Irish I say: Get A Life. I just got a barrage of 14 SMSes from him which I refuse to put up. The last one read: “Ok, that was the first part and the main chorus… its juveniles Back dat azz up. Ill send you the rest in your mail.”
“*wink*.. yep.. *wink* – you know.” –SilverWeed
“codeine is really a GAY site, but i’m the only one who is able to realize it.” –Anonymous (Coward)
“I am a sophisticated love machine sent back through time with one mission, to pleasure TBA’s mother.” –tin
“I’m bored at work and feel like typing. Indulge me. :) La la la la la la la la la. Thank you, tip your waiter.” –atroxi
“I THINK I SHOT A LEPRECHAUN!” –russ (does that mean you still get the pot of gold?)
“Between downloading gay porn and messaging here Irish just doesnt have time for a social life” -Shakespear
“Inferno. Hear me. Tonight, it ends. No more. It ends. It must. Farewell.” -Zeffe
“The eagle has left the nest. The birds are migrating north. The square block has been put in the hole. Your days are numbered.” –Theseus :)
“I’m jackin off to gay porn with Wrongforum and TBA in a huge gangbang as I type this. Doesn’t that just make you so horney?” –Spaz (*shudder*)
“Interesting conspiracy…well I’m returning my startac organizer for a palm v. This thing has been disapointing indeed.” –Roosh (go the Palm! :)
“irish: hey, I’m a drummer chick. Actually, a xylophone chick.” –GStarr
“no! a bum chick! *har har, laughs at her percussive joke*” –GStarr
“I dont know.” –FallenAngel
“Baby make your booty go… mmm! Oohhhhh, yeahhh! I like (_(o)_) booooooooottty! Fluck U & u’r CAT, Penii.” –Irish
“SMS = Shakespear Might Suck?:\ Alice in flucking Chains rocks your damn Hear Ye! site my Aussie friend. <3” –Irish
“^//[;]\\^ – You a fine motha flucka? Why don’t you back dat ass up? My c0x is bigger than Ron Jeremys :)” –Irish
“oooohhhhhhhh! ill make u a motha fing image dude why didnt u ask muhi negro? *ramblings.net*” –Irish (mate, don’t you have anything better to do than make my phone beep all day?)
“You know when he fell down .. yeah near the mailbox cover in the street OMFG HAHA!” –SilverWeed
“boo” –gfdsg (yes I know, bang the left hand on the keyboard and see what random letters come up)
You’ve probably been getting messages that I’m out of credit. That’s what happens when I get too many SMSes. However, I still do eventually receive them, so just ignore that message.
“Irish: Phew! For a moment I though you were going to threaten to kick my CAT! Thank God your gonna kick the dog I don’t have.” –Penii
“Where the hell are all these phils coming from!?!?!” –the real Phil (unpc)
“SMS = Sega master system?” –Shakespear
“Got Rice?” –sung
“WTF? You watched star trek?” –sung (every week there’s a review and you’ve only just noticed??)
“Attn: Inferno. I will stand for this pink dot no longer, I challenge you to a battle of wits.” –Theseus
“If I win, you’ll make my dot red. If I lose, you make my dot red. The game? Professional tiddlywinks. May the best man win.” –Theseus (how about seeing who can design a web page faster, you with notepad and me with FrontPage? :)
“yes, ganymede is a guy’s name, I’m quite ashamed…actually, I think it’s a pretty name” –GStarr
“I’m surrounded by preps. they’re everywhere. They’re wondering how much someone paid me to put a fish on my shirt.” –GStarr
“also a mailbox just ran into my best friend’s car. he’s okay, though. I just don’t have a ride home right now.” –GStarr
“Looking kinda lonely, put the dick in the middle like money. She beats on the dick like a mother fucking drummer chick.” –Irish
“if u still need to open word doc… install star office… uninstall when done.” –Kaber
“27 new messages no thannks to yours truly. Got Rice?” –sung
“Last time I tried this, it said you had no credit left…” –da5id
“i will kill you until you die UNLESS you fix the fuckin “building menu” bull shit that makes hearye take like 20 secs to load.” –tba (you must have a shit computer cos the 486 at handles the menus in under 5!)
“and im not kidding around with you. just because im 6500 KMS away doesnt mean i cant wreck you up BAD. heh.” –tba
“It’s bad for women to get involved in karate and other activities, because it gives them ideas of being out of the kitchem. Bad.” –Justin
“CHEEEEEESEEEE!” –Outsider
“Wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzup!? Aussie Pride ‘yo! You know space might be the final frontier, but its made in a hollywood basement:\” –Irish (under the guise of “Smelly Aussie”)
“Seen on the back of a bikie’s t-shirt: ‘if you can read this, mywife fell off'” –Phil (not unpc Phil, nor Plutonia Phil, but Tatterdemalion Phil)
“free.be.com <— it’s here. altho all the servers are busy :(” –Solo
“I don’t want a dot, a box would be better, a big box” –Shakespear
“Penii: I’ll kick your dog. So, Inferno, where do you live? :) *ramblings.net*” –Irish (far enough away from you)
“Everyone: www.bad-candy.com <– funny.” –Silverweed
“Inferno, if you make enough money you can retire to new zealand and be a sheap herder, I’ve heard it has ‘benefits’.” –Alecks (like this, huh?)
“How can I get http://www.phunstuff.net on your links list? Thanks, Ryan” –Ryan
“Who just slapped me with that fish? *twiddles her thumbs*” –gstarr
“A fecalphiliac is someone who is obsessed with Mookie stinks” –shakespear (uh I’m quite sure I didn’t need, or want to know that)
“Red Dot! I don’t want a red dot! AUHGGGG!! I’m being sniped! (TFC joke, Stewey)” –RegBarc (yeah I know, I’m the one with Private Ryan quotes bound to keys for TFC sniping, remember? :)
“WTF? Daylight Savings Time? We’re in…oh yeah. That “Southern Hemisphere” thing in “Austrailia”.” –RegBarc
“suck it dude!” –spaz
“WTF is that fucking black dot !!!!!! it ain’t there !!!!! SWEAR!!” –WaD
“Ok i’ll be your stalker. But first I gotta move to Australia, get the money to move to Australia, and whack off.<3 *Ramblings.net*” –Irish
“Irish needs to shut the hell up. His complaints are getting annoying. PS – New Zealanders have relations with sheep?” –Penii (hahah this is the SMS of the day!!)
“testu” –ben (yeah it works duh)
“Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! You’ve got a date babbbbbby! <3 *www.ramblings.net*” –Irish (… stalker …)
“Oh yeah, and the guy was speaking japanese too!” –SilverWeed
“Look at www.codeine.net, now look at issues.baefed.com !!” –SilverWeed
“chew my pants!” –not the unpc Phil “Today at work, my female co-worker asked what half a person was. I said “a woman”. I was then beaten unmercifully.” –Justin (probably the only truly entertaining SMS today :)
“3> are for people not cool enough for <3 :-)” –Russ (or too dumb to get it right)
“weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i love you man” –ben (uh…)
“i hope i didnt bring this onset of <3” –sung
“CUZ I LUB IT <33333333333 (and you)” –sung (UH… one more message like this and I’m going to freak)
“fuck the red dot! Give us a green one!” –da5id
“living in america, i have never heard an asian with an australian accent. you should record your voice” –red scare (maybe one day… but it’s an Aussie accent… don’t think you’d be able to pick out any asianess in it)
“I heard that Aussie’s like to bang Kangaroos.” –jonez (no, but the rumour you heard about New Zealanders and sheep is correct)
“For Word files. Go to MS site and download the wordviewer. You can read files just not edit. And it’s free!!! Cheers!” –Blatz (tried it – that doesn’t work either, unfortunately)
“GAHHHHHHH!” –RegBarc
“WOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!” –sfoster
“what? you mean you don’t 3> 3>? ;-)” –Russ (wtf is 3>?)
“You check these pages on a cell phone? Is the tiny screen big enough? I need a high-tech toy. I feel left out.” –sonic junkie (yep, Nokia’s have nice screens as far as mobiles go – do you Yanks normally call them cell phones?)
“very flash site, makes me wanna blow ^_^” –WaD
“You will be sent <3s until I get a red dot. This message will self destruct in 5 seconds.” –Theseus (Mr Pink Dot)
“<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3” –Mr Pink Again (Reservoir dogs, anyone?)
“spooties” –Jaz
“When I think about Dennis, I spew on myself, yeahhh. Dennis unban me damn it! I love Hear ye!” –Irish (Uh…)
“SKIN UP” –Chops
“Hey! <3, you know you love it.” –Silverweed
“hey man, fucking awesome site, btw, <3 :-)” -Asmo
“Stile really does suck. Oh and get Dennis to unban me. Geez, how many times do I have to ask?!?!?!? www.ramblings.net” –Irish (Dennis reads this page. Whether he wants to edit his htaccess settings is up to him :)
“OH! And make your damn Send an SMS window bigger! its so damn small…….. make it like a paragraph one (the text imputter hhahah” -Irish (SMSes are restricted to 160 characters, hence you only need a one line text box for entry)
“The nokia network thing looks like a good idea. I love how the future is going wired. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. :)” –Roosh
“on your new layout: “Our minds have been blown!”” –Justin
“Rockin’ layout! :)” –Atroxi
“Nice layout, now I have to change myself” –RegBarc
“Oh man, I love the redesign, keep up the good work.” -Silverweed
“Get Dennis from Uncle Dennis to unban me damn it! Oh and HELL YEAH I ROCK!” –Irish
“Congratulations!!!! I love the new design man! It looks very professional…when did ya find the time to do it? Well done buddy.” -Shaf
“howdy” -Intaglio
“ok, this thing rocks. I must know it’s secret :)” –Fuzzy
“Get well soon, sucka. :)” –Dennis (thanks)
“http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/9202/index.html Very bizzare site!” –Gimpy Ho (The Force = evil? heh. Very bizarre, indeed!)
“WHERE IS MY BADASSMOFO? DEATH TO THE INFIDEL” –Ignatius
“You gave Dennis a red dot… And not me. You’re a fucking dead man walking.” –Theseus (::snigger::)
“Hello, Kirpal here. YOU KICKED MY DAWG! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, I WILL KILL YOU. By the way, hasn’t eisa already acquired Ozemail?” –Shaf (yes, Eisa did acquire OzEmail, but I think Eisa wants to sell them off… or at least Telstra wants to buy them)
“”Listen to what I say” “Okya, maybe I’ll lay by the bay, or eat some hay – I just may!”” –Ignatius Gunnarsson
“Hi. Wanna go pick up some hot females later? See-ya soon.” –Irish
“Hey man, good work on the new header graphic. I like it lots. Later.” –Justin R
“That masthead really makes Campbelltown station look like a jail!” –Kev (not far from the truth – especially at the hour that photo was taken)
“<3 Stu” –TBA (WTF does that mean?!)
“Will you Lick My Chocolate Salty Balls?” –Gimpy Ho (with the sexual comment of the day)
And via email from kini: “loving your work and loving the pic of campbelltown station :P”
“Congrats, you’re off your Ps! Are you on silvers now? BTW sorry if you got this msg multiple times…P” –Phil (Yep, silvers. No, only got it once, so that’s cool)
“Bence is the man, and my computer sucks, anyone know a reason for it freezing once it gets to the desktop?” -Silverweed (yeah, you just said it. Because it sucks and it runs on Windows which isn’t exactly renown for stability)
“Jesus Christ!” -Dennis, reaffirming his faith. Or denouncing it.
Mofo dropped in another stupid message to do with skulls, knives and … yeah.“hehehe…..i made the screens flicker!!!” –Shaf
“teehee…..i made them flicker again!!! This is fun!!!” –Shaf, having too much fun, 30 seconds later
Since I wasn’t at Aspect, but onsite at a client site in Chatswood, I sent an SMS to his mobile telling him that.
“Damn! Have to get you while you’re in the office next time! Hehehe, my screen actually flickered before I got your SMS.” –Shaf
Ah.. sweet revenge :)
“And I’m on a coffee break…hence the web-surfing…With the amount of work they’re piling on me now, I envy those who are bored..” –Shaf again (bloody long coffee break if you ask me)“Another good book: The Forever War by Joe Haldeman.” –Phil again
I like it how all the monitors at work start to flicker for a bit before I get SMSed.
“Gah, school fucking sucks.” –Silverweed
“Yeah,ah…i got those herpes you wanted…You mind if I bring them over to you tonight?” –Assman
“Mmm, Aussie-Os. Part of a complete Aussie breakfast.” –Phil
“so where are the applications for red dots? hehe, j/k” –Sung
“btw, you got my bad side in that pic =(” –Sung again (that was your bad side? I thought any pic with you with your shirt on was your good side :)
“GOD DAMN THOSE DIRTY APES!!!” –Wildebeest (eh?)
“Where can I buy Cadbury Creme Eggs in bulk? I NEED SUGAR!!!!!” –Phil again (just walk up to the counter at Franklins or whatever supermarket you go to, and grab the whole box of them hehe)
“I WANNA TOUCH YOU ALL OVER, AND OVER AND AGAIN UNTIL THE NIGHT GROWS EASY UNTIL THE NIGHT GROWS EASYYYYYYYY!!!” –Mofo
Right.
“YOU’RE DEAAAAAD SEXXXXXXXXY!” –sung
“The “Buddy Jesus” is tops. Catholicism WOW!” –Phil
I got bored today at work, so I happened to flick over to sung’s webcam. He was performing what can only be described as an acrobatics demonstration with a piece of paper reading “wired-abuse” in his mouth (aka a strip tease). I shot off a mail to list-en and got a reply from a shocked Sung, followed by an sms reading, “i know you liked it inferno, DONT DENY IT!” Sung stopped somersaulting around the room and I got him to replace “wired-abuse” with “Aussie! Oi!” but something got lost in the translation from “Australian” into “American” and a sign materialised behind him reading “Aussie!!!!! O!!!” Aussie-O? What is that, a breakfast cereal? Oh well, can’t ask for too much :) Cheers to Sung for amusing me for a while today hehe.
“WHAT IS THE HIGHEST SCORE YOU GOT IN DOPE WARS? ANIMAL SEX!!!!! YEAH FUCK YOU!” -Mofo
“that 140gb cd thing is supposed to be bs, it was posted on slashdot ages ago and got ripped apart” -Gandaffi
Wow, some people look like they may be more bored than me :)
David (in 4 parts)
“In my com eng tech class today I had to mess around with and get a 486DX4 machine with Windows 3.1 up and running. ((shudder))”
“And what’s worse, it was only a 486DX4 because of a freaking overdrive processor, probably like a 286 running underneath that POS.”
“And, I think I screwed up my first message. It is supposed to be comp eng tech, standing for Computer Engineering Technology.”
“And . . . just kidding, I really dont have anything more to say right now. Hmm, actually I just did say something else.”Sung sang: “Win2K is out today. Thats my poetically inclined form of greetings.”
Inconsiderate Bastard, is. “Skip the rest of work and update the page!”
“If Train A leaves New York at 2 and Train B leaves San Fran at 1, When will Bence get laid?” –Assman
“Wooohooo!!!!! Another Hi-score on Dopewars – $36,393,592….yes, as you can see, I’m still addicted to this game ; )…..” –Shaf (pimp and drug dealer extraordinaire)
“Can my dot be purple??” –kirameki (look, I don’t even know who you are, but I’m not trying to turn the sidebar into a rainbow)
“I hope this is not . . . Chris’ blood! <— Resident Evil quote with really bad voice acting” –David (who gets the award for most out of context quote of the day)
Is that a PINK dot? Screw Theseus HE SUCKS take his link off he is whining like a fucking 2 year old. Tell him he is a dirty bastard and RAMBLINGS RULES!!!
RegBarc112
“Meza Lika Da CRACk” –Wabut
“hehe…nah, they caught me trying to smuggle boatpeople in again…they arrested me while i was down at “The Lady Jane” ;) …” –Shaf (dammit Shaf, again?! hehe :)
“Hey there, you hot Australian hunk. Do you have the accent like Crocodile Dundee?” –Fallen Angel (No. Not that harshly ‘Aussie’, but go further inland and that’s where you’ll find people with that accent.)
MoFo: PLUG MY ASS WITH A PENIS! PLUG MY ASS WITH A PENIS!
wrongforum: What the hell? You guys get summer while I freeze my pancreas off? Damn you. Damn your eyes!
Silverweed: i have stolen all of the dots, you will never get them back.
Cracky: Yo, my shakespearian quote has qualified for frontpage displayation, you whie-eyed muff-tuffet dOt
David: You know a couple weeks back, I went through and visited every one of the sites on the sidebar-that-could. It took forever.
sung: YOU STILL ALIVE MAN?
Dotless (Theseus): Ahh, a dot… A dot… The pressure, of a dot… Cindafuckinrella.Shaf: Get this: I saw an exact lookalike of you at the PNG Consulate. Only problem was that he had the wrong skin colour, <continued…>
Shaf Part 2: and wrong type of hair. But apart from that, he looked just like ya. Weird….you may have a long lost brother up in the…
Shaf Part 3: mountains of Papua New Guinea…hmmm….something to think about while at work…Yes… that combined with the practice of cannibalism in PNG put me in a ponderous mood at work. Shaf… what were you doing at the consulate again? Seeking asylum? They trying to deport you again? :)
And not SMSes, but words on the dotless:
Some miscellaneous AOLer: That loser doesnt deserve a dot… red white blue or purple (simpleminded)
Mike: SIMPLEMINDED DESERVES THE RED DOT. IF THIS HONOR IS NOT BESTOWED UPON THESEUS NOR HIS EVERYTHING/NOTHING SITE, I THINK YOU OUGHT TO KNOW THAT YOUR DESTINY INVOLVES YOU, A PIT OF IMMINENT DOOM, AND YOU FALLING INTO THAT PIT. love mike
Y’know, I don’t trust anyone who writes in All Caps, sends in HTML and signs the e-mail with “love”. Lamer.
The taunting continues…
“having a red dot rules. i feel sorry for those that dont… :)” –Solo
“With Liberty, Justice, and Red Dots for all.” –Ignatius Gunnarsson (eh??)
“Yo, I lost my ICQ list, so send me a message so I can re-add ya. Ya prick.” –Theseus
“Hmm… If i were a red dot… Where would I hide… Oh yeah, up inferno’s aussie ass” –Theseus again.“I didn’t make the three figure mark! OH THE HUMANITY!” –Phil (I guess that’s what happens when you get older… you get less money :)… see yesterday’s SMSes)
“Would weed smell as weed if it were a sweet rose?” –Cracky (his nick says it all)
“in quebec, often, for lunch we eat french fries with gravy and cheese curds. yum. have a good lunch.” –TBA (Canadians… so civil. What the hell are cheese curds?)
Theseus, ever diplomatic: “Have a nice day, and gimme a red dot you f’ing aussie bastard.” and ever quirky, “IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS THE ONE-ARMED DOT!”
Silverweed asks, “if everyone is entitled to a dot, what do you get if you are really good? (just wondering)” to which I reply… a different coloured dot. Yes, discrimination due to colour. Sue me.
Solo caught me on the train this morning with: “in your words, WAKEY, WAKEY!!!!”
Sung seems to have a problem with gender identification when he sent, “you’re a MILF inferno.”
Phil wonders about my financial haul, “Did you manage to pass the three-figure mark ($$$$) this Chinese New Year’s?” To which I say, no, I only reached three figures. Four would’ve been very nice though :) How was your roundup?
MoFo, resident (impotent?) sexual maniac screams: “VIAGRA ROX ME VIAGRA ROX ME VIAGRA ROX ME!!!!!”
Halcyon, with more on weather: “Freezing weather in the US? Nah… come down to Texas. It was almost 70F today. 110F is hot? Nah… an average summer day here. :)” I have relatives in Texas. Last time I was down there in Winter. It snowed. It was freezing. So I guess you’ll have to wait a few more months before things start to warm up :)
Jonny says, “hi”
Chibi Knt relates an anecdote, “I hosted an Australian for my school once. Now he calls everyone so often to burn me infront of his friends. I got him back. BWUAH”
*snigger* US weather isn’t very good, as Dennis lets me know, “110 farenheight, eh? I just washed my truck and the water froze on it. :)”
Theseus, dot stalker extraordinaire, testified under grand jury, “I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT DOT.”
Randal sends a test sms. Yes Randal, you, half a world away, did make my phone did beep four times.
Silverweed, who last time sent instructions on how to get a million dollars requests, “put up screenshots o whistler, you getting dis?” Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any on the net :/
Sodomist Mofo repeats numerous times: “ANAL SEX [etc.]”
Jonathan is trying to rewrite the e/n constitution, which as we all know doesn’t exist, because a constitution implies law and order. The e/n community, however, is virtually an anarchy. “We the people, of the United Sites of E/N, declare that everyone is entitled to a dot.”
Justin wishes me “a nice day”. Thank you for the only mundane, plesaant message I received from America. Too bad that phrase is a product of American consumerism and more often than not is said through habit than anything else. Not so on the web though – takes effort to fill out a form on the net (*looks at guestbook’s 4 new entries and wonders, don’t a few hundred people visit this page daily?*).
“..//…///..?@#./?#$$$%1@! <– the instructions to get 1 million dollers, really.” –Silverweed
“We the people, of the United Sites of E/N, declare that everyone is entitled to a dot.”
“Except those that are simpleminded or named Theseus.” –David
“I can’t find anything weird on e-bay…except real human teeth cufflinks. yuck.” –G.Starr
“Do aussies ever give a shit about our Super Bowl? or our football in general?” –David
[No, not really… I mean you guys don’t care about the cricket or rugby world cups, or our AFL grand finals… Speaking of AFL, I bet most of you Yanks have absolutely no idea what it is]
“Bwaahahahahahaha! Haha! Ha!. =)” –Bonhomme de Neige [Snowman, from my scant knowledge of French. Il est fou.]
“check out www.iloveholly.com man she is hot!” –Alex GraettingerTheseus speaks, in a startling trilogy of SMS prophecy:
AND THE LORD SAID UNTO MAN, THOU SHALT NOT TAKE AWAY THESEUS’ DOT
FOR HE WILL STRIKE DOWN UPON THEE WITH GREAT VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER
AND KICK YOUR ASS, TOO
I fell asleep at work. I was waiting for a process to compile, so I was resting my head in my hands, elbows propped on the desk. I felt my arms buckle, elbows wobble and my head fall. A split second later I was sitting bolt upright. Believe me, I was very awake after that. It’s not lack of sleep, I’ve come to realise. It’s the work they hand me. If I’m physically doing something, I’m quite awake, but if you get me to read documentation, I’m drifting off in a matter of minutes. However, work has improved. I got to work with one of the 6 AS/400s they have there, finally.
“HSsadfwrag. go 1024 x 768!!!!” –Wabut
[I would but dad’s got bad eyes and complains he can’t see the lettering under icons.]
“oh no! inferno is a trekkie!! Ghakh!” –Justin
[What did you think… I wrote those weekly DS9 episode reviews to torture myself?!]
“You know, if you really want to piss off Theseus you should just take away his got completely. :)” –David
[ >:-) ]
“Using other man’s pager give me happy feelings! GODZIRRA!” –RandomNorseGod
“Can I be on the SMS today? can I, can I, can I????!” –G.Starr
“You have your start button at the top of your desktop? that’s werid.” –G.Starr
“What’s that?”
“Oh, just got an SMS.”
“From who? What does it say?”
“Attention. I have kidnapped your parents. Ransom: Red Dot.” -Theseus
“I hate you. I love Jennifer Love Hewitt. The Movie “Ronin” Rocks.” -Tkbrewer
“Me not talk well, like fat pink pussy, attached to girl name britney, peepee happy, yum, white volcano come out.” -Assman
“Read a book called Snowcrash – its like the Matrix but only better!!” -Knight
“yo yo yo…I don’t often say that. Just for you.” -GStarr
“I have lots of popcorn bits between my teeth right now.” -GStarr
“YOU GET ME SO HORNY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DO ME DO ME YEAH FUCK ME IN THE ASS PLEASE!!!!!!! NOW. I WANT IT NOW! GIVE IT TO ME!” -MoFo
“Ermm… you don’t wanna know…”
Hope no one looks at my message history on the phone… there are some pretty weird ones on there now :)
Adam declares, “I like little boys. Also, read Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time or Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield (?)” Is his role model Arthur C. Clarke? :)
“Why do cricketers always play with themsleves for the camera?” Riss notes.
Pr0N f13nd sends this blind link (I haven’t seen it, so tread with care): “Send people you hate to http://www.goatse.cx /”
Theseus has another declaration to make: “Britney Spears’ breasts make my peepee reach up, up, and away!”
Today’s batch:
Atroxi Radio is going LIVE again this Tuesday. Let’s see… if it broadcasts around 9pm American EST, that makes broadcast time in Oz about noon on Wednesday, Australian EST. Give or take a few hours. Incidentally, Wednesday is Australia day and a public holiday :).
Shaf complains, “Damn riddle’s too hard!” I totally agree. The riddle’s also too stupid :).
MoFo wrongforum ebonicises: “amen brother ben open yer mouth and shovel it in!”
Jerk Ass Head wants money. “Toodaloo. go sign up for all advantage or i’ll rape your dawg. Pin – 69FU” Why does that pin look dodgy? :)
I think I’m just about out of messaging points.
Noddy has some interesting news – an exclusive Aussie server for UO2, “Stu, that dude was talking about UO, well UO2 will have an Aussie server that only only Aussies can use for the first few months”
Solo questions, “what was Fallen Angel’s sister doing in the shower with him?” Gee good question.
Gimpy Ho sent me a URL to a porn site.
Chibi Knt has this to share, “Here’s a message from the heart. Carnie BoHo will hump the crap out of you.”
Theseus shares something we didn’t want to know about him: “Sometimes when I’m lonely I put peanut butter on my nipples and let my dog lick it off.” Actually, 5 years back when I did cadets at school I remember my demented sargeant telling me about him sticking tuna on his dick and letting his cat lick it off. Must be a relative of Theseus’.
Emily has these words of encouragement: “Keep up the hard work….It can’t be much boring…..Just remember you’re getting paid! Smile!! :))!” Unfortunately I’m not really getting paid. Just the regular scholarship payments. The companies are not even allowed to pay us extra if they wanted to.
Beep Beep. Beep Beep. Beep Beep. Beep Beep. Beep Beep.
Sam observes: “Pretty nifty everything here. Aussies…well, personally, I think New Zealand Kiwis kick ass, but, you have the better women.” How can you say Kiwis kick ass when we beat you guys in Rugby and Cricket? :) As for better women – hear, hear!
Theseus demands, “SIMPLEMINDED MUST HAVE A RED DOT! RED DOT OR DIE”
I choose die. I’d like to see how he gets across the Pacific to accomplish that :).MoFo plagarises from SouthPark: “Shut your fucking face uncle fucker. You don’t eat, or sleep, or mow the lawn, you just fuck your uncle all day long.”
Outside proclaims, “I like cheese” while Bob says, “I’m your concious.” Woman backs this up with, “I am woman, hear me roar” Hmm.
Phil recommends another book, “Here’s another one: “Excession” by Iain M. Banks. The spaceships are the stars cuz they’re sentient!”
Ganymede Starr claims, “I’m fallen angel‘s sister. Right now he’s singing barbara striesand in the shower. loudly.” If that’s true, I’m laughing. Really hard. Isn’t Ganymede a guy’s name though? And do you have a 13 year old sister, FA? And don’t lie to cover up the fact that you were singing Striesand in the shower. Loudly. :)
Ghetto Princess, speaks Ebonics: “we wuz at dis ghetto party when i see them(e/n’er)puttin’ da mack down on some ho’s, wait, no, we have no life @_x”
Some guy with the same name as me says, “Dang….a 40 GB HD for only $250….” but I have no idea what he’s talking about.
Solo gets down with the lingo: “Inferno, you’re so schmick. MOVE TO THE U.S. HOMO. I NEED TO HIRE SOMEONE!” Given the excitement levels of my job right now, I’ve found the idea surprisingly enticing in my more idle moments (ie: just about to drop off to sleep and semi-conscious).
Gimpy Ho returns. “Ye shall receieve the email of Gimpy Ho now peon! And you here about the OZ UO shard that OSI announced?” Aussie shard? Too late, Origin… Maybe for UO2, but with EQ, an Aussie server wouldn’t make me buy UO now.
Judgecal wants a plug: “Hi. I thought I would send you a note. Watch the latest episode of =JUDGECAL’S= High Weirdness – http://ParseTV.com/weirdness” (I thought this show got canned?)
Thanks a lot for today’s messages, sent in by these people:
Fallen Angel, who sent a very timely “WAKE UP!!!!!” at 3pm when I was drifting in and out of consciousness.
Phil, whom I believe lives quite close to North Sydney recommends this: “I recommend The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson. Top read!”
Justin mumbled, “Hey mate, i just fill out any form i see cuz i am a boring guy.” (wow, a Canadian using “mate” in a sentence nothing to do with procreation… some Aussie must be rubbing off on him :)
Someone claiming to be “Your mum”, repeating “you suck you suck you suck…”
Gimpy Ho said, “Deez Nutz in Jo Mouth from the US of A! Hang in there!” (damn Yanks…)
Assman offers this insight, “Oprah Winfrey is hot and has firm honchos, I believe people like that should be put on an island that floods once an hour!”
Many thanks for all the people who sent in SMSes :). Got a couple in the morning and decided it could get annoying for others if my phone kept beeping all day. So I switched it off, and turned it on after work. I got all the SMSes, one by one when I was walking to the train station. Phone was beeping all the way there. Yeah I looked like a yuppie, suit and all, especially in North Sydney :P. Save me. I’m a westie dammit. Got these messages…
From Atroxi, a reminder that his schmick radio show is on tonight (last night?)
Sharkey exclaims, “No NET ACCESS?!? You poor poor Aussie bastard. I shall now bow my head in a moment of silence for you.”
Calder F. sends this haiku, “Text is made from text / Judo tops all spijitsu / Never drink the rain.” (to which I have to say makes him sound like he was on crack)
– m00n – says, “Thanks. Well burn that naked pic of your sister now.” I don’t have a sister.
Noddy recommends Harry Turtledove’s Into The Darkness to read.
Solo utters, “You said ‘scrotum'”
anti-dentite muses, “well work sucks… but it could be worse.. no wait.. it can’t. sorry.”
One truncated Nick Goodman says “This message is in MIME format. Since your mail reader does not understand this format, some or all of this message may no-” Mobiles don’t take attachments or HTML very well.
Some thing cryptic from Opera Portables Inc. saying, “Opera Portables, Inc. is presenting “by invitation” visits to our web site. New updated and packed-” No URL, though. The message got truncated.
Renai called me a “hot chick” (but we’ll ignore this message seeing it’s from an obviously confused individual)
… and various well wishes from Shaf and Fuzz :)
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12:44am (GMT +10.00) tomorrow 