Weekly Report: October 23, 2022
Observations
Childcare is eye-wateringly expensive in the Bay Area. We pay our pre-school almost $5,000 a month to take care of our kids during the day. Sadly, that is not unusual here. And while we really like our pre-school, it’s not exactly a celebrity pre-school where kids get visits from former first ladies.
This level of expense means that, apart from a decent amount of ethnic diversity at our pre-school, the families with kids there are otherwise remarkably (but perhaps unsurprisingly) homogeneous: two parents in their mid-30s to early-40s who are both working professionals in good jobs with one, two, or maybe three children. A good deal of them, like us, grew up overseas.* The street turns into a parking lot for Teslas during drop off and pick up times.
We’re now going through a phase of life where we’re attending 4th and 5th birthday parties almost every weekend. This is a new experience for us. I quickly realized that these parties are always well-attended. It’s not because 4 and 5 year olds are inseparable best friends that are good at showing up for each other, but because it’s an easy way for parents to keep their kids occupied for a couple of hours while someone else has figured out how to feed and entertain them. The price of admission is a gift that you have probably regifted from someone who attended your own child’s birthday and regifted something that had already been regifted to theirs. There are only so many good gift ideas.
It’s difficult to avoid the temptation of comparing birthday parties. Each party is a public display of time, money, and by extension in an observing parent’s irrational and paranoid mind, love.
Every weekend, my mind spirals into the same pattern as I walk by yet another party with a bouncing castle: Am I doing enough for my child? Do I not love my child enough? Is my child going to think they aren’t loved because they didn’t have a bouncing castle? Why aren’t we ever invited to the parties with the bouncing castles? Or the Oscar-style party favor bags? Or the tonnage of balloon decorations that I’m sure are the cause for the nation’s helium shortage? And so on and so on.
I also find these parties awkward. Some families invite the whole class and maybe we know a handful of the parents there. Ten years ago, given the homogenous bunch we are, we probably would have got along just fine had we met at some random party. But it’s next to impossible to have a conversation of substance with the constant interruptions of a pre-schooler and their toddler sibling.
Also, my parental mind suspects that everyone is judging everyone else at these events. This part is not paranoia.
To wit, last weekend’s party. It was at a park that we had never been to before. New is good, as far as our kids are concerned, and they immediately raced off to find the nearest muddy puddle to jump into. The party was well-attended, very nicely done, and Formula 1-themed with liberal, unlicensed use of Ferrari insignia sprawled across six tables. It was immediately clear to us that these parents loved their child more than we loved ours.
Nonetheless, not all parents were so easily impressed. Shortly after we arrived we witnessed an exchange between one guest’s father and the birthday boy’s mother.
Guest’s Father: “Do you have a vegetarian table?”
There is a moment of silence while the birthday boy’s mother — a Persian woman who does not appear to be someone who is normally lost for words — is seen visibly struggling with how to respond.
“… no.” she finally says.
The guest’s father makes an equally visible annoyed face back.
The mother regains her footing and shoots back with thinly masked disdain: “Sorry I, um, forgot that children could be vegetarian.”*
Later in the party, the same father decides to share his perspective about an activity table where the kids are busy submerging a fleet of knockoff matchbox cars in a rainbow of glitter glue.
The vegetarian father, making a show of examining his frizzy wool sweater with disgust, sidles up to another person, who happens to be the birthday boy’s father.
“Glitter glue is the worst! You never, ever, ever give kids glitter! I’m going to leave here with glitter on me!”
The birthday boy’s father is unapologetic. “Well it doesn’t help you’re wearing a glitter magnet.”
As the party begins to wrap up, party favor bags are distributed. In the bag is a whistle. Seconds later, every kid discovers the joy of their Favorite New Toy. And also in that moment, everyone is judging the birthday boy’s parents.
When we leave, we pass by another party that has been setting set up for the past three hours and whose costumed guests are finally starting to arrive. It is a 3 year old’s birthday and it features freshly grilled food, drinks in four huge Yeti coolers, and the nation’s missing helium supply.
I pull my daughter back as she attempts to crash the party.
“Why can’t we go to that one daddy?”
* I literally only just realized why the word “abroad” is used more frequently in the U.S. to describe foreign lands than the word “overseas”, which is far more common in Australia. It is probably because, in Australia, every foreign country is across a sea.
** L’esprit de l’escalier: “Yes, but your kid is the only one who’s vegetarian so he’s going to be sitting all by himself.”
Further Observations
- Series I Bonds purchased by October 31, 2022 will yield 9.62% for the next 6 months. This yield is expected to drop to ~6% in November. There’s been a lot made online about purchasing I bonds before November to lock in the 9.62% rate, but given annual purchase limits, there’s something to be said about waiting. This is because the interest rate on I bonds is composed of a fixed rate and a variable inflation rate. While the fixed rate has been 0% for the last 3 years and <1% for the last 15 years, interest rates have risen sharply over the last 6 months and any fixed rate above 0% is good for the 30 year life of the bond – which may result in a better return over time versus buying a bond today with a 0% fixed rate component.
- As the CCP Congress closes, China enters a new, troubling era. Several friends, some of whom have spent many years of their lives and careers working in or with China, now express a reluctance to even physically set foot in the country. Whereas the China my generation knew while growing up seemed full of promise and reform, the China my kids will grow up knowing will be darker.
Articles
- Liz Truss joins the ranks of shortest-serving world leaders (The Guardian)
- Quantifying Britain’s moron risk premium (Financial Times) ($)
- China’s semiconductor industry rocked by US export controls (news.com.au)
- Rent Going Up? One Company’s Algorithm Could Be Why (ProPublica)
- The black market for blue Twitter checks (The Verge)
- The $30 Million Lottery Scam (The Atlantic)
- Fox News C.E.O.’s Strategy at Center of $1.6 Billion Lawsuit (New York Times)
- Should you wear sunscreen on an airplane? (SFGate)
- Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2022 Finalists
Movies & TV
- Thor: Love & Thunder (Disney+)
Reasonably amusing, but not particularly memorable. Actually fell asleep during the final fight scene (#parentlife). 3/5.
Charts, Images & Videos
9:00pm 
