Hear Ye! Since 1998.
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Jun 01

Hear Ye!: Now Banned in 5 States

Well not quite, but I, pornographic distributor extraordinaire (hah!), got this in the e-mail which I thought was quite amusing (and evidently, so did the prankster who submitted the URL in the first place):

It has recently been brought to our attention that you are, or have been, in violation of the Net Authority Acceptable Internet Usage Guidelines. It has been reported that you both distribute and view offensive materials over the Internet.

Net Authority has investigated these claims by checking your webpage at http://hearye.fissure.org and verified that they are true.

As a result, your personal information has been added to one or more Net Authority Internet offender databases. Your information will be stored in the databases until enough evidence has been gathered against you to warrant further actions. To help avoid such a situation, it is strongly recommended that you cease your immoral actions on the Internet at once.

You have been added to the following databases:
 – Hate Literature Offenders
 – Pornography Offenders
 – Child Pornography Offenders
 – Bestiality Offenders
 – Homosexual Pornography Offenders
 – Interracial Pornography Offenders
 – General Blasphemy Offenders

If you would like more information about Net Authority or the Net Authority Acceptable Internet Usage Guidelines, you may read the details at http://www.netauthority.org/. It is imperative that you fully understand the guidelines if you wish to avoid further prosecution.

While the individual who reported your actions to us will remain anonymous, he or she wished to pass these words on to you:

“Stu, you are one dirty bastard!”

May God be with you as you struggle to overcome these evil impulses. You will be in our prayers at night.

God speed,

Net Authority Investigations Department

“Interracial porngraphy offenders”? What the? Oh so it’s not ok to be racist, but it’s alright to discriminate pornography based on race? Interesting categorisation, eh?