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Dec 99

Communal Crier

A report from ground zero of the latest conflict in the neighbourhood, straight from one of the 5 disorderly sanitary technicians:

Here I sit, in Stile’s house, after everything is said and done. The events of this evening have been unbelievable and turned out in a way desirable to all.

First of all, I rallied at Stile’s house to defend against the attacking team of webmasters, unfortunately consisting of some of my fellow janitors. Upon arrival the gang started to trash Stile’s house. Until we found something to everyone’s amazement. Two VCR’s connected with gold plated video and stereo chords. A concoction suitable for only one thing, movie duplication. We were all stunned. It seems as though Stile had been stealing movies, dubbing them and returning them. There were all kinds of flicks in his archives ranging from “ROBOCOP” to “TANGO & CASH.”

Stile darted for the door only to be stopped by the FBI. Turns out that they had heard about Stile’s little movie stealing scam. “Yah, I read the Janitor site everyday. I am an expert on this stuff, and when i saw the return of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ‘Commando’ being followed up by the disappearance of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ‘Total Recall,’ it had movie piracy written all over it,” says SWAT leader Martin Roberts.

It was a mess, the SWAT team came in through the windows and doors. Roberts asked Sharkey exactly who had been copying movies. Sharkey gave one look to Stile and realized, hell, they were only movies, and proceeded to point to TBA from BrainDamage. The FBI shot him. Stile pointed to Solosier and said “yah, it was him too.” They shot him twice. He made a gurgling sound on the floor.

The FBI just cleared out all the bodies and everyone has sat down to watch the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic, “Commando.” I gotta go because I am missing the beginning.
[Source: Unruly Janitors]

Help, stop me laughing before I rupture some internal organ! :).

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These guys wanted a plug: Kill Ugly TV. Weird stuff on this site.