Hear Ye! Since 1998.
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Jul 99

Train Security

They have security on trains past 7.30pm. They lock off half the train, and herd everyone into “nightsafe” carriages. There’s a pair of guards patrolling the train, but once they travel the length of the train, they stop at the end of the carriage and always have a chat for about 15 minutes before setting off for the other end. Anyway since the journey home was about an hour, I settled down to sleep (yeah, it’s a wonder I haven’t been mugged yet). I awoke to someone shouting his head off at the end of the carriage. Apparently some big, burly yobbo got pissed at the guards having their 15 minute chats and decided to have a go at them. The guards couldn’t speak English (properly), and as a result had the shit bagged out of them. The ruckus went something like this:

“Do your fucking job! I pay my fucking taxes for your job and you go have a chit chat with your mate. Shit! Go take a walk!”
“There, that can, pick up that can!”
“That’s not my job.”
“Fuck! Just… just get lost, do your job!”
“Nononono NO. that’s all you can say isn’t it? Pieces of shit. Fuck off. What disturbing the other passengers am I? What’re gonna do about it? Chuck me off the train? Go on, I’ll take both of ya on. Wankers.”

This went on for about 10 minutes. Everyone tried to appear they were ignoring what was happening but you knew they were listening in on every word. The guards were incompetent cos they obviously couldn’t handle the guy (and I think they were too scared to chuck him off the train. “Security” was totally unarmed.) That yobbo was a total dick, and finally some passenger got frustrated enough and told him to “shut the fuck up.” He didn’t, but the two “guards” started their patrol again and it quietened down a bit after that. It wasn’t a dangerous situation – the guy wasn’t drunk, just crazy. It was just scary that the cityrail security perhaps isn’t very competent. At least hire people that can speak English. Or arm them with something. Maybe it was just this pair of guards. The yobbo got off at the same station as me and took the opportunity to approach the train driver and taunt him. I couldn’t hear what the driver said, but as the train doors closed and locked, the driver must’ve said something that made the yobbo shout, “How rude! Fuckwit.”