Hear Ye! Since 1998.
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Feb 99

Today, Column 8 in the SMH

Doctors get all sorts of things when drug company representatives advertise their medical wares to them. Pens are the most common of freebies, which is why you see people like me (children of doctors) going around with pencil cases full of novelly shaped pens labelled with cryptic words like “Cardizem CD”, “Erythromycin” and “Fragmin.” And, of course, they’re also labelled with not so cryptic words such as “Panadol” and “Viagra.” Yes I’m proud to say I have a Viagra pen, courtesy of the Pfizer drug company. No, it’s not shaped phallically or in a way ol’ Sigmund F. would comment on. Anyway, that’s not the point of this post. A few days ago we got, not the ubiquitous drug company pen, but three juggling balls – each marked with the words “Atrovent (ipratropium bromide).” Using these I’ve taught myself how to juggle fairly well in three days. I’m not dropping the balls on the floor as often now, but a couple days ago I grew accustomed to the regular thumping noise caused by my uncoordination. *thump* “Damn!” *thump* “Shit!” *thump* “Ah stuff it. I give up.” Ultimately I stuck with it and now I can juggle three balls reasonably well. I can also do two balls with one hand (uh… Sigmund would have something to say about that last sentence).

Learn to juggle. All you need are balls and plenty of time. It’s one of those things you only need to learn once.